underwater

I don't want be a cloistered pearl

I see so much beauty in the open world

I've felt only chafed and stunted in these shoes

always thought that it was just the strain of youth

and I feel so fond of who I wanted to be

but I feel so rested now finally, you see

I can't go back I can't go back underwater

but after 20 years of grinding

the way my life flashed - it's blinding

I have compromised so many times and now I'm lost alone at sea

I can't breathe

and I feel so ashamed of who I learned I could be

I failed every moral test my life threw at me

I can't go back I can't go back underwater

There are endless roads that I can see

How can I choose when all I see are possibilities

The safe road still washed out

And now I'm left without

Any of the tools I used to pick my way through those trees

and I feel so afraid of who I might someday see

but I know the path that I was on ceased to be

I can't go back that old safe path is underwater

I feel so fond of who I know I could be

I can't turn away from the life in front of me

I can't go back I can't go back underwater

Photo by Linda Xu on Unsplash